Adventures of an Unstable Pair
by Shurty Arya
Summary: A fresh, comedic insight into Arya and Eragon's relationship. You know you want to know!
1. The Moment of Truth

Disclaimer: We don't own the characters, the original storyline, or the world. We also don't really believe the characters are this, ahem, _extreme_ in their personalities. We're just having a little fun.

**Shurty: Okay people, time for introductions. I'm Shurty Arya, but you may call me Shurty for short. My friend Arya 4 ever and I wrote this story together, it's just posted under my name, haha.**

**Aryiz: You can call me Aryiz. Shurty and I are huuuge fans of Arya, and also E/A—**

**Shurty: Well, obviously, hence this fanfic!**

**Aryiz: …**_**As I was saying**_**, we love her and we love the ship, but mostly just Arya.**

**Shurty: Sorry, Eragon.**

**Aryiz: And since this is our fantasy, we're calling in Arya herself! Whoo!**

**Arya: *pops into existence***

**Shurty: ARYA!! *faints***

**Aryiz: We love you, Arya!**

**Arya: …Who are you? And where am I?**

**Eragon: *appears* I think the more important question is, where was **_**I**_**!**

**Arya: Ugh, not you again! Quit following me, you stalker!**

**Aryiz: *nudges Shurty* Hey, hey, wake up! This is too good to miss! Arya and Eragon are having a real live argument! Our dreams have come true!**

**Shurty: *wakes to find Eragon and Arya arguing* *gasp* Quick, get the popcorn! …Oh oh, and we should probably begin their story.**

**Arya and Eragon: *stop bickering* …**_**OUR**_** STORY?!?**

**Aryiz: Don't worry, my dears, everything's going to be just fine… *grin***

**Eragon: *aside to Arya* Why does the brunette not assure me?**

**Arya: Ugh, get away from me!**

**Shurty: Aaand here we go!**

Moment of Truth

It was a beautiful night in Ellesmera. The moon was full and round, and the stars sparkled brightly in the sky.

Arya glared up at them from her seat in the Agaeti Blodhren. _Stupid festival. It's not actually like we're celebrating the Rider-elf pact from who-knows-how-long ago. All people do is dance and get drunk_.

Hanging on to her last train of thought, her gaze roamed around and settled upon a feverishly giggling figure sprawled upon a bench across the clearing. Eragon ogled her with bright eyes and wagged his eyebrows.

Arya rolled her eyes. _And there's the Rider; the last hope for _all_ of Alagaesia. A young human boy with dirty clothes and an obsessive curiosity with everything_. She sighed, and then continued after a moment's contemplation. _Not to mention being extremely annoying when it comes to my privacy. I wonder why he's staring at me like that . . . . . Oh Barzul no. NO. _That's_ why he's got that dreamy look on his face! Dammit, I know my beauty's irresistible and everything, but really!_

She quickly glanced towards Saphira, hoping that at least _she_ would have the sense to see the wrongness in the matter and put an end to it. To Arya's utter dismay, the dragon in question was sprawled on her back, white belly displayed for all to see, shooting flames out of her nostrils in tune to the elven music.

_I'm doooomed! Even Saphira can't slap some sense into that Rider of hers! Save me, Faoliiiiin!_ Then upon remembering that Faolin was dead, Arya cursed. _Where's a man when you need him?!?_

As if hearing her silent cry, Eragon suddenly stood and began to stagger his way over to Arya. The elf remained perched on the edge of her chair, giving no indication that anything was wrong while on the inside, she fumed at the cruel humor of fate.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Arya," Eragon said as he came to a stop before her. "You sure do look perrrty tonight . . ." His voice trailed off as his eyes roamed unabashedly over Arya's body.

Arya fought the impulse to punch him in the gut.

"So anyways, I's wondrin', you wanna take a walk wi'me? I know this perfick little clearing where you can see all the stars, and there's a brook that . . . flows," Eragon finished awkwardly.

It was the last thing Arya wanted to do at that moment, but being ever so ambassadorial, she muttered, "That would please me very much," and stalked past Eragon towards the dark trees.

The flatness in her voice was lost to Eragon as he beamed like a happy puppy and scampered after her. He quickly caught her wrist and proceeded to recklessly tow her through the forest.

_What the—What's he think he's doing? He's going to lead us straight off a cliff!_ The trees thinned ahead, and Arya couldn't help but cringe as Eragon barged through.

"Well here we are! Told you it was . . . pe-pr-perty," he slurred as he turned towards an impassive Arya. Eragon waited for a response, but it was not forthcoming. The awkward silence and Arya's ill-masked exasperation caused Eragon to fidget. Finally unable to stand it, he cleared his throat tentatively and sidled closer to Arya.

The dark-haired elf suddenly found herself wishing for a big rock that she could, ahem—_accidentally_—whack Eragon with if the need arose.

"How tall the trees, how bright the stars . . . and how beautiful you are, O Arya Svit-kona," Eragon began.

_Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before_, Arya scoffed, barely managing to put a stop to an involuntary eye-roll.

Meanwhile, Eragon had obliviously continued with his prepared speech, "…anything to win your hand. I would follow you to the ends of the earth—"

—_As if I'd let you catch me—_

"…build a palace for you with nothing but my bare hands—"

—_Yeah, and by the look of the place I'd take it as an insult—_

"…I would—"

"Eragon stop," Arya ordered, having had enough of his pleas. He peered at her in surprise, and she perceived a hint of hurt as well. Sighing inwardly and then resuming in a gentler voice she said, "This can never happen, Eragon. We both have our own duties, and such a relationship would distract us. You are young and do not yet understand the true depth of your feelings. In time, you'll find that what you feel for me pales in comparison to your feelings for another, one your age and in a more suitable position. Forget about me, Eragon. I do not want the same thing you do."

Having made her stance on the matter clear, Arya turned stiffly and began to make her way from the clearing, and the dazed Rider it held.

_Just a few more steps, a few more steps until you're in the clear . . ._

"Arya, wait!"

_Barzul!_ The addressed elf ground her feet to a halt and closed her eyes in frustration, all the while fighting to suppress the urge to scream insults at the apparently deaf Rider.

"Eragon—" she began.

"I did hear you, Arya, really I did, but I think you've misunderstood me. You make it sound as if I only want your body—which is admittedly _very_ nice—but it's more than that. I'm not just infatuated with you, as you and just about everyone else seems to think." Eragon pouted, and then took a deep breath before continuing, "I-I love you, Arya."

Arya's eyes fluttered open instantly. _He LOVES me? What the . . . I didn't see that one coming_. Slowly, she turned to face Eragon. Her emerald green eyes took him in as her mind reflected over what she saw.

_Perhaps I _could_ give him a chance . . . He does look yummy as an elf, and beard or not, his face isn't all that painful to behold._ Arya focused on his strong jaw, which at the moment, was dusted with just the slightest shadow of a beard. _Now see, regular elves don't have that._ Her eyes flickered down over the rest of Eragon. _Hmm, he's actually not that bad at all. He's got a nice body; tan, well muscled, and clean-shaven. Hell, when he's not covered in dirt, he's actually quite hot!_

Finally, Arya returned her gaze to Eragon's face. "I'm sorry if I misinterpreted your feelings, Eragon. It was my mistake. As to our future, well, we'll just have to see, won't we?" And with a tiny smirk (because you just can't act cold to someone who says they love you), Arya pirouetted and sauntered off into the trees, letting the music from the Agaeti Blodhren guide her back towards the celebration.

Behind her, Eragon's eyes lingered until she was out of sight. Then, he leapt into the air with undisguised ecstasy and sighed dreamily as he collapsed in a heap on the ground.

**Shurty: *wipes tear* That turned out beautifully, Aryiz.**

**Aryiz: I couldn't agree more. *high fives***

**Arya: I PROTEST! THE THINGS THAT FAKE ARYA DID—**

**Shurty: Honey, that was **_**you**_**.**

**Arya: NO IT WAS NOT! I WOULD NEVER, **_**NEVER**_** LEAD ERAGON ON LIKE THAT. **_**NEVER!!**_

**Eragon: …I quite like it. You know, I change my mind about you guys. Shurty and Aryiz are awesome!**

**Aryiz: It's about time someone realized it!**

**Shurty: Great, you're going to love the next chapter then, Eragon! *grins sneakily at Arya***

**Arya: I REFUSE TO BE A PART OF THIS! I—**

**Aryiz: Oookay, that's all for this time round. Thanks for reading!**

**Shurty: Don't forget to review! It's the little button that makes updates come faster.**

**Eragon: And add this to Story Alerts so you can find out if I finally get some the minute it's posted!**

**Arya: WHAT?!?**

**Aryiz: Don't worry, dear, it's all going to be okay. *eyes sparkle evilly***

**Shurty: Heh heh heh…**


	2. Eragon's Reward

***drum roll***

**Aryiz: And now ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the second chapter of our story!**

**Shurty: One so long-awaited by the global E/A community!**

**Arya: RUN! RUN WHILE YOU CAN STILL MAKE IT! THEY'RE HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE FOR MAKING ME DO—**

**Eragon: *clamps hand over Arya's mouth* Come on, get right to the story!**

**Aryiz: *rolls eyes* You've waited three books, I'm sure you can hang on another few minutes, Eragon. **_**Sheesh**_**. *aside to Shurty* You know, that kid's really starting to get annoying. I almost feel bad for Arya right now about what she's abou—**

**Shurty: HUSH! All in good time, all in good time . . . But yeah, I do kinda see what you mean. We can deal with it later. Right now it's time to unveil—**

**Eragon: CHAPTER TWO! WHOOOH YEAH BABY!**

**Aryiz: Right…**

Eragon's Reward

Arya, once again, sat watching the Blood Oath Celebration. Her mood was much improved, however. _Aah, the night sky is just so beautiful! We couldn't have chosen a better day for the celebration. The music is quite lovely, maybe I should dance with Er—_

Her reverie was abruptly cut short by the appearance of a certain couple in her field of vision. Slowly, Arya rotated her head until the said couple was centered. One was a pretty female elf in the middle of an animated conversation. Her companion was Eragon.

Arya's reaction was not pleasant, not pleasant at all.

_WHAT IS THAT BITCH DOING?!? IS SHE ASKING HIM TO DANCE? …TO MATE WITH HER?!?_ Allowing her wrath (and imagination) to rampage unchecked, Arya gasped and continued with even more savagery, _OH MY GOD MAYBE SHE _IS_ ASKING HIM TO MATE! OH HEEELL NO, ERAGON IS MAH MAN!! NO ONE TOUCHES MY PREEECIOUS!!! NO ONE!!_ To emphasize her last point, the infuriated elf leapt to her feet; ready to wage battle to reclaim her Rider. _GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU SLIMY LITTLE LOWBORN HAR—_

Arya was interrupted by the wary and somewhat concerned looks from nearby elves. Her anger had, understandably, surfaced on her face. The normally flawless features that had transfixed many a man (and a fair number of elves) were contorted with what could only be described as rage.

Not wishing to cause a scene, Arya struggled to rein in her emotions. _Okay, okay, calm yourself, Arya. You've got this . . . you've got this under control._ She sucked in a deep breath to clear her head. _Now, you will go out there and charm everyone! Then, you'll politely ask Eragon for a dance and afterwards, a walk. Relax, you've got nothing to worry about_. Arya inhaled once more to prepare herself. _And . . . GO!_

"Hello, lovely night isn't it?" she said, turning to a surprised elf on her right. Before he could respond however, Arya had already brushed past him, slowly but surely wending her way towards Eragon.

As she pushed her way through the throng, she commented to another raven-haired elf whose back was turned, "Doesn't the Menoa Tree look beautiful? It never ceases to ama—Oh . . . Hello, Mother." Arya bit off her previous thought when the other elf turned, revealing herself to be none other than Queen Islanzadi, ruler of the forest . . . and the very last person her daughter had wanted to see.

"Arya! Where have you been? I lost track of you after that _poem_ of yours . . . by the way, we'll be having a little chat soon about giving you some more poetry lessons . . . but not now. Let's just enjoy the celebrations while they last," Islanzadi preached.

Arya's jaw clenched ever so slightly but she managed to politely respond, "Yes, it is a lovely evening. _Unfortunately_, I cannot stay and chat with you right now. Excuse me." And with that, the elven princess slid away from her mother and approached Eragon.

Lightly, Arya tapped him on the shoulder. "Would you like to dance, Eragon?" she inquired with a small smile.

Eragon's mouth dropped open. "Arya—I . . . yes! YES!"

Arya smiled widened at his eagerness. _YAY! He said yes he said yes! I hope he's a good dancer . . . meh, I'm sure he is. After all,_ she thought, quickly shooting a glance towards Eragon, _his elven abilities have got to count for something_.

Arya entwined her arms around Eragon's neck as he wrapped his around her waist with some palpable apprehension. Together, they swayed to the music, each lost in their own thoughts.

_Mmmm, he smells sooo nice! I just want to kiss him and never let go! He's mine mine mine!_ Arya was just about to press herself closer to Eragon when she caught a glimpse of her mother over his shoulder.

Islanzadi's gaze was fixed on them like a hawk. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of where Eragon's hands were and she didn't even have the courtesy to pretend to watch something else when she noticed that Arya had seen her.

_GAH! Why does she always insist on ruining the perfect moments in my life?!? Banishing me for getting a tattoo, lecturing me about unprotected sex after I met Faolin, and now this!_ Arya looked away from the Queen. _Okay, get a grip on yourself, Arya. Your nosy mother is watching. You can't do anything stupid right now . . . but perhaps later, under the Menoa Tree . . ._ Her thoughts trailed off as Arya suddenly had an idea. _It _is_ huge after all; the perfect place to hide or _ahem_—become lost—during the festivities._

Tilting back her head to look at Eragon, she suggested softly, "Let's go for a walk . . ."

"OK, sure, Arya," Eragon replied breathlessly.

_Ooh, he seems eager! That's a good sign, right?_ Arya's thoughts raced as she stealthily led him through the crowd. _Among all these big trees, it would be very easy to be swept up by the merriment of the night . . ._

The couple reached the shadow of the Menoa Tree and Arya breathed a sigh of relief. _Perfect, I just hope Saphira or Mother won't interrupt._ After a moment's consideration, Arya continued, _I'll just hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the branch we're sitting on . . . Hmm, perhaps I should put a curse on the sign as well, just in case one of those elven women who were hitting on MY Eragon decide to barge in_.

Turning to her companion, Arya asked innocently, "Eragon, hypothetically speaking, if you really, _really_ wanted to be alone, how would you threate—er, I mean encourage people to stay away?"

"Oh well that's an easy one, Arya," Eragon responded immediately. "Just warn them that you'll have Orik fart at them!" He beamed triumphantly.

Arya studied him, impressed.

Liking her attention, Eragon suggested another, "Or, you could threaten to bind them to Nasuada for eternity! Seriously, _that_ one will keep them away. The girl's just so _dull_."

This time, Arya couldn't help but laugh. "That's true . . . but what if a person, for God knows what reason, actually _likes_ her? That could—_potentially_—be problematic."

"Well then, warn them that you'll tell Roran that they threatened Katrina and then let him hack the person to pieces! That'll definitely work." Eragon grinned smugly.

"Good idea. Thanks, Eragon," Arya smiled at him. _Now which one should I use to curse the sign? Ah, why choose, I'll just use all three!_

Arya discreetly mumbled the curse under her breath as she allowed Eragon to help her up higher into the branches. At last, the two settled on one that offered a fine view of the forest around them.

Eragon put his arm around her and Arya sighed contently. _Finally alone with Eragon . . . I think I'll spend the entire Blood Oath Celebration with him._ She noticed how dreamily the said Rider watched her and smirked. _Well there sure won't be any argument from him. He can't resist my beauty!_

"Isn't it a beautiful and perfect night, Eragon?" Arya mumbled and she played with the buttons on his shirt.

Eragon, at the moment, was finding that it had suddenly become very warm and hard to breathe. All he could manage was a nod.

Arya was not oblivious to how flushed he had become, and as such, she suddenly piped up, "Oh, now I remember I have this beautiful fairth and a flower I made for you in my room. Would you like to come and see them . . . as well as have a cup of tea?" She winked at him.

Eragon let out a deep breath and answered with anticipation, "Yes, I'd _love_ to!"

Arya merely smiled flirtatiously.

When they arrived at Arya's chambers, she left Eragon to sweat it out in the living room while she "got ready."

"Okay, okay," she muttered softly. "Eragon . . . " A quick peek out confirmed that the Rider was still there, trying to get his breathing under control. "…Check. Saphira out hunting, check. Candles . . . " Arya lit the ones lying around her bed. "…Check." Then she took out a bottle from one of the drawers. "Faelnirv, and lastly, sexy underwear! All right, I'm all good, but have I forgotten something?"

Arya paused in consideration. "Ooh yes, Islanzadi. What am I going to do with her? If she walks in on this, things could turn deadly. And that's not good since Eragon's the last hope for Alagaesia . . . Oh I know! I'll just call in a favor from Oromis! The man owes me, so happy or not, he'll have to keep the queen busy tonight." Arya looked pleased. "And who knows, maybe things will work out for them, too. I always sensed something was going on between them. Perhaps tonight I can find out . . . Well, come to think of it, I'll be kind of busy tonight so tomorrow then." Arya stuck her head out of her window and shouted down to one of the youngsters hanging around outside. "Hey, hey you! Yeah you, I want you to take a message to Oromis for me. Tell him that I say it's time for him to repay that favor. He has to go keep the queen company tonight, and for part of tomorrow as well, probably. And I _don't_ need to remind you that this is strictly _confidential_," Arya added sternly at the end, completely oblivious to the fact that half of Ellesmera could hear her yelling from the window.

After pulling her head in, she suddenly piped up, "Oh, that's what I forgot! Are my clothes easy to get off?" The elf looked down at herself and bit her lip. "I guess they're okay . . . Oh, what the hell. Better to be careful than careless, right?" And with that, Arya undid the straps of her dress and stepped out of it. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a steadying breath. "Now let's get this show on the road!"

Out in the living room, Eragon had just begun to regain control of his breathing when he heard two words: "Oh Eragon!"

He looked up and saw Arya poke her head around the corner. "It's time for me to show you something . . .remember?" She winked suggestively at him.

"OF COURSE! How could I ever forget, Arya Svit-kona?!" was Eragon's super calm reply.

The elf in question giggled. "OK, well . . . " The rest of her body entered the room. "Here it is! Um, here _I_ am, actually."

Eragon took in Arya's semi-nude self, and promptly fainted.

Arya quickly filled a bucket with cold water and doused him with it.

Eragon spluttered on the floor and looked up, his mouth dropping open and his body overheating despite the puddle he was sitting in.

Arya pleaded exasperatedly, "No no no! Don't faint again! I know we have all night and possibly all day as well but I don't want to waste half that time trying to keep you conscious! Please!" She hesitated a moment, and then slapped Eragon across the face for emphasis.

"Ouch!" the Rider complained as his glassy stare faded. "Okay, okay, I'm all yours." He gulped and then continued tentatively, "Just . . . just don't hurt me too much!"

Arya rolled her eyes and replied, "Oh, will you just relax? I'm sure you'll enjoy it, too. Everyone always does." And with her signature smile, she pulled Eragon up off the floor and towards the awaiting bedroom.

**Arya: MY LIFE, RUINED! OH THE SHAME! THE SHAME!! *anguished face***

**Eragon: *ecstatic grin fades to pout* Hey, I'm not that bad of a catch! I mean, I am the last **_**good**_** Rider…**

**Shurty: That doesn't mean much anymore, dude.**

**Aryiz: We've all seen you bawling like a baby on the floor about your stupid back.**

**Arya: *rambles on obliviously* …And oh, oh, my **_**signature smile**_**—JUST TAKE ME NOW, NONEXISTENT DWARF GODS!**

**Gannel: *splutters in fury***

**Shurty: Whoa there, what's that religious dwarf leader doing here?**

**Aryiz: I…I think he's here to argue with Arya! *excited***

**Shurty: Oh, well in that case, he's very welcome. I've always wanted to pick up on some classy, elven insults from the master herself. *opens popcorn bag***

**Aryiz: *grabs some* TO BE CONTINUED!**


	3. The Morning After

We want to give a big thanks to everyone who's reviewed! It really makes our day when we get to read your encouraging comments So, keep it up, and don't forget to recommend this story to your friends!

**Meanwhile…**

**Gannel: *purple in the face* You DARE question the sanctity of our sacrificial rituals?! May the heavens help you when Helzvog, the **_**holiest**_** of holies, unleashes his wrath upo—**

**Arya: *rolls eyes* Yes yes, he'll smite me with his superpowers, wreak havoc upon me and my posterity… Honestly, I had hoped that you would've come up with some better arguments in the decades I haven't seen you. *sigh* But then again, that really might've been high expectations for one whose head is full of rocks.**

**Gannel: *nostrils flare* I have had QUITE ENOUGH of these personal attacks!!**

**Arya: *mock horror* **_**Personal**_** attacks? Why, I was merely referring to your race's creation from stone by mighty Helzvog… Is that not what you preach, Grimstborith?**

**Gannel: *eyes bug out with barely-restrained fury***

**Shurty: Wow this is GREAT! **

**Aryiz: *chuckling* Aaaah, **_**this**_**, my friends, is why every last one of you should worship Arya! *high fives Shurty***

**Eragon: You know, I'm feeling a bit left out here…**

**Arya and Gannel: *ignores Eragon***

**Shurty: Did you hear that?**

Aryiz: Yeah, I think it was the wind. I should go close that window. We wouldn't want the _**wind**_** to ruin all the fun!**

**Eragon: Hmph, well at least Arya will want me in the story.**

**Arya: *momentary glare***

The Morning After

As the first sunbeams lit the inside of the room, Arya slowly opened her eyes, taking in everything around her. A yawn escaped her lips. "Good morning," she said.

Eragon, who was still not awake, mumbled, "Huh? What is it? War again?"

Arya rolled her eyes and sighed. "No, you idiot! I just said good morning."

"Oh, well, good morning to you too then," he replied, before turning over to sleep again.

Arya simply would not have it though, so she pushed him off the bed. "Oh, come on, get up! I know that last night was tiring but you know it was worth it."

Eragon just ignored her and closed his eyes, trying to mentally convey that he wanted some peace without _actually_ mentally conveying it.

The elf on the bed sighed and said with her professional voice, "Okay! What do you want me to say to wake you up, my love?"

Eragon blinked, trying to understand what he had heard. "And since when did you start calling me 'your love'?"

In return the elf rolled her eyes and giggled, "Since last night."

Eragon blushed and mumbled, "Oh right! Time to get up then!" While he crossed the room to get his clothes (which were strewn outside the room as a result of the night before), Arya quietly and carefully observed him. Her eyes roamed over his well-built body taking in all his defined muscles. Then a devilish grin crossed her face and she said "Oh Eragon, honey!"

Eragon, who was in the other room, appeared in the door. He noticed the flirty and cunning look in his mate's eyes that told him that she was up to something, but he chose to ignore it and simply ask, "Yes?"

Arya, who had already formed a plan in her head, replied, "I just remembered that I should give you a backrub because you must be really tired, and um, you need to be ready for your training."

Eragon's eyes widened. _Well now _that's_ something I could enjoy. But how come she remembered it now? _He took a moment to puzzle it out. _Oh I get it! She wants to DO IT again! Yay! _"You're never going to let me out of this room, are you?" he asked.

She faked a look of contemplation and answered, "I'll think about it."

Eragon silently rejoiced at her remark. Instead he said, "Well, backrub and staying in this room sound perfect as long as you're with me."

Arya laughed at his reply. _Awww he's so cute when he says things like that. _"That's the spirit!"

Unfortunately, in the course of those few seconds, her companion was already having second thoughts. A miniature Eragon dressed all in white popped into existence on one shoulder while another dressed in red appeared on the other.

_What about the Varden? _Accused Angel Eragon.

_Aah, leave them be. They gotta learn how to handle themselves without my boy here, _retorted Devil Eragon_. Plus, the green egg will hatch soon so they'll get another Rider._

Angel Eragon was not about to be put off though. _But what about Oromis?_

_He'll be _fine_. He's got Glaedr and he looks like he should take a break, anyways!_

_And then there's Galby. _Eragon the Angel rattled on, ticking off a finger as he did so. _What would we tell him? He's gonna miss us a lot. I know he is! On the outside, he has that whole "evil king taking over the world" vibe going, but deep down inside, I just know he has a heart and secretly wants us to be there to oppose him! After all he was the one who sent us dinner-for-two invites and flowers every day. And hey, _Angel Eragon looked around guiltily before continuing, _you can't deny he doesn't rock that scruffy, brooding look. And when he assumes that commanding tone! Oh! How could anyone stand to resist his charms?_

Devil Eragon regarded his counterpart with an expression equal part disgusted and triumphant. _Ha! I knew there was something wrong with you! Hey big man, you know you gotta listen to me now. The angel's gone off the deep end!_

Eragon nodded enthusiastically, raising a look of concern from Arya.

"Honey…are you all right?" questioned the elf tentatively.

"I, uh—yeah, I'm fine!" Eragon piped up. "It's just, I was thinking…"

"Oh, forget everything else! Right now, it's just about you and me. Come to bed; the rest will work itself out," she replied with a seductive grin.

However, Eragon remained where he was, trying to decide. _I have to tell her. After all she's my mate, she has a right to know. I have a feeling it will ruin all the fun, though._ He sighed inwardly._ Well, it's all or nothing. Here we go . . ._

"But this is important, love," he said as he moved hesitantly towards the bed.

"And what is that?" the elf replied, annoyance present in her voice as her eyes flickered over Eragon's bare chest. _I thought I had taken care of everything!_

"Um, I don't how to say this . . ." he began.

Arya glared at him. "Just tell me!"

"Alright! I think Galby likes me! There!" Eragon revealed. "I haven't told anyone about this, but he sent me dinner-for-two invites and flowers. The messenger kept saying that he has a thing for me but I thought he was joking. I don't want to break his heart and make him angry. We can't afford it." He finished and waited for the worst to come.

For a while Arya just sat there staring at him. Finally, after a few minutes (which seemed like centuries to Eragon) she got up slowly and planted herself in front of him.

"So you're telling me that Galbatorix has feelings for you?" Arya asked in a soft voice.

Relaxing at the casual tone, Eragon replied nonchalantly, "I guess."

"Huh," Arya breathed. Then, she leaned closer and whispered threateningly, "Eragon Shadeslayer, is that a challenge?"

Eragon's eyes widened with fear. "What—no! Of course not! You're the only one I love, Arya! You know that!"

Arya sighed in apparent satisfaction. "For a moment there, you scared me."

_Yeah, likewise._ He took her hands in his and tried to fully convince her. "You know I'd never do that. You are, and will remain, my only one. Besides, Galbatorix has Murtagh."

"Mmm, good point!" Arya exclaimed with interest. _Murtagh, Murtagh, Murtagh. I'd forgotten all about him! Damn he was sexy . . . always rattling that cage of his in the Varden. And that one time he was all drenched and his shirt stuck to those beautifully tan abs of his—_

"Hey! I can hear your thoughts, you know!" Eragon whined. "You're supposed to be giving me a backrub, not salivating over his abs!"

"Right, honey. Sorry, it won't happen again," apologized the elf, but her dreamy expression suggested her thoughts were still not entirely collected.

"Hmph, good," Eragon said as Arya began to massage his back. "And you'd better not do it again!"

"IS THAT A THREAT?" screeched Arya in indignation, daydreams evaporating instantly.

The Rider blanched and cowered from her. "No no no, love, of course not!" He winced as Arya's nails dug into him when he tried to pull away.

"Good," she approved. "Stupid boy, you're the only one I love."

"Yeah, I know…" Eragon mumbled.

**Eragon: BOO! BOOOO!! I DIDN'T GET TO BANG ARYA AGAIN!**

**Arya: *eyes narrow* …No, you know what, I'm not gonna let you ruin my good mood. Eragon goes crazy, I instill fear, and no sex—with **_**Eragon**_**. Sex is still good with someone else, Murtagh for example!**

**Aryiz: Yay! Do you like us now?**

**Arya: Mmm, you're definitely not horrible…**

**Shurty: What if we write in a scene with Murtagh? Drenched and shirtless?!?**

**Eragon: NO!**

**Arya: YES!**

**Aryiz: …That sounds really fun actually. *bites lip in anticipation* How fast can we make that happen? We're so going to poof that beautiful piece of man in here.**

**Shurty: You read my mind! We can work it in a few chapters from now I think.**

**Women: *dreamy sigh***

**Eragon: GAH! *mimicks* Oh Murtagh you're so **_**charming**_**! Oh Murtagh you're so **_**handsome**_**! Oh Murtagh you're so **_**classy**_**! OH MURTAGH GO TO HELL! I'm all of those things and more! *scratches armpit***

**Arya: …Mm-hmm right.**


End file.
